2008... What was it for me? In truth, I'm not sure that I know. 2008 has been a year of so many things. I have changed so completely that I can't remember how it felt to be me a year ago. I've been through so much and yet there have been other years where I can point out so many more events. So maybe 2008 was not eventful. There were some firsts: my first boyfriend, my first "date" (although I'm not so sure if it really was a date...), my first published poem, my first break up, my first time driving, my first day of high school, etc. There have been good moments and bad moments alike.
Can my year be summed up by the blogs I have written? I don't think so. The reason for this might be that I have never wanted this to be a journal-y type thing. Can you tell that I've changed through the year's worth of writing? I'm sure you can. One thing I've realized through writing is that a writer's voice is constantly changing. A writer who starts something and then puts it down before coming back to it after a period of time will find that phrases that sounded perfectly right to them before now sound like something that was written by someone else in some other time and place. So looking back at my writing I can see that I am not the same as I was a year ago.
But who would want to go a whole year and not change at all? That would mean that through 365 days you let every experience you had just pass right by you. I know that I've written about change at least twice. The first time I believe I was talking about how I was not looking forward to the changes going on. The second time I was excited to see what these changes would bring me. Now... I'm not really for or against it. Change is just life. It's not good or bad. It is just something that happens.
How have I changed this year? Well I believe I'm a better person than I was at the beginning of last year. I had a boyfriend who showed me (through things we both said/did) that I was not a very nice person. I worked to change that but it took further evidence from my family for me to completely turn around. Now? Now I am much happier and I think every aspect of my life shows that. I've learned to be content with what I have and not to complain so much. I've learned that you don't have to be the best to be good and to be valued. I had, I have, some friends who are completely amazing academically. I spent a good part of this year being compared to them (at Fairfield mostly) by teachers and other students. It tore me apart for a while. I kept thinking about how horrible I was and how I needed to be more like them. I know that isn't true now. I know that there is more to my life than school. Whether I manage to get more 4.0 GPAs or not I will not be like my friends are. I'm not like that. I don't need to be.
There are so many things that have happened this year. So many things have changed me and I don't mind. Just the fact that I am still writing in this blog shows that I am more determined than I was a year ago. I had never thought that this would be something I would continue to do. In fact I'm sure I've mentioned several times before that I was sure that I wouldn't continue to write here anymore.
Anyway, I've just completely lost my train of thought, as usual, and so I'm going to go.
Make the last day of 2008 count everyone! It's been a good year! May 2009 be just as great!
