November is Nation Novel Writing Month (also known as NaNoWriMo.) I've been participating for years now, ever since my older sister, Wendy, told me about it. The goal is to write a 50k word novel in 30 days. I have never managed to write more than 20k. However, I always have so much fun. Last year, NaNo was the only time where I actually sat down to write. I had a lot more time for these things in high school. I was working a lot less. I didn't really hang out with friends as much. I was taking classes that required me to write. These days I don't really do any creative writing.
There are a couple problems with this year's NaNo, though. First of all, I have a paper due five days into November. A fairly large paper. Second of all, the semester wraps up not that long after the end of the month. That means that I will have a lot of assignments due toward the end. I also have no idea what I'm going to be writing about. I've had a few more ideas, but nothing definite yet.
So I've adjusted my goal. Do I think I'll be able to write 50k words this month? Probably not. Do I think that I can start a project that will be 50k words by the end of December? Well, it's much more likely.
Showing posts with label school. Show all posts
Showing posts with label school. Show all posts
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Thursday, September 20, 2012
Introduction to Social Work: a Window into a Possible Future
My Introduction to Social Work class is by far one of the most interesting classes I have taken in my short college career. I registered for this class with the idea that it might help me decide if Social Work is a field that I may want to go into (hardly knowing much about it at all from the get-go.) I'm three weeks into the semester and I can already tell you that I absolutely love the class. I love the material and I love the discussions. There is such a wide variety of students of all ages, with all kinds of history, experiences, and backgrounds. It seems as if there is somebody who has personal experience with every issue that has come up so far. Everything from trouble with parents to drug and alcohol abuse to disease to poverty has been covered and expanded upon by someone who has faced it head on in their life. The class has been such an interesting look at people and the struggles they face. It's exactly the kind of thing that has always interested me most.
Still, the big question that I am trying to answer this semester remains. Is this something that I could see as a career? I learned in class, recently, that it is possible to become a therapist with a Master's degree in Social Work. That is something that I have always thought would be incredibly interesting. The problem I've had with it in the past is that I had been led to believe that you had to have a PhD in Psychology to be able to go into that career field and I really just do not want to be in school for that long. A Master's degree, though? I think I can handle the five total years of schooling required to earn an MSW. I'm already a year down. To think that four years from now I could be going out into the field doing something that I have always imagined myself doing is kind of incredible to me. Three years from now I could have a BSW and be working in a place where I could be truly helping people. The idea is such a dream to me.
Does the fact that this inspires me so much mean that it will be a better fit for me than teaching would? I can seriously imagine myself living in an apartment, working in the social work field wherever I can with my BSW while working on my MSW with the ultimate goal of becoming a therapist somewhere down the line. It seems like a life that I would really, really love and something that I could really want. I've always had reservations about going into teaching. Would I really like it? Do I only really think teaching would be a good fit for me because school is really all I've ever known? Can I seriously teach English with the amount of time I've spent avoiding reading in school? My biggest concerns with Social Work so far have been whether or not I can find a job where I'll actually make money and if I'll become as burned out with it as the people that I have read about online are.
I've had this conversation with my mom a lot lately. She keeps saying to my sisters and I that we can't let our futures become focused on how much money we're going to make. I've been all over the place lately with things that I could possibly end up going into as a career. Conversations at work and with my friends always end up on the subject of how we're going to get out of our current jobs and into careers where we'll really start making money. If I go into the medical field or even accounting, I could definitely end up making more money than I ever would if I go into either teaching or social work. In fact, living in Utah means that I will probably always make less as a teacher and a social worker than I would in other areas of the US. Should that matter? If I take my mom's advice than the answer is certainly that it shouldn't matter if either of those things are something that I would truly enjoy doing. Plus, it's not like I would be out on the streets in either career. The average salary for them both is enough and certainly more than I would make if I were to leave school completely (which isn't even a thought, I'm just putting it out there as perspective.)
In an ideal world, someone would come up to me and say "You need to be this. Here's how you do it. Now go." As it is, I'm stuck trying to figure out for myself where I will fit in the world. Sometimes I feel like I hardly know myself at all. It's like looking at a complete stranger an trying to tell them what to do and where to live and how to feel. Maybe what I truly need to do is just stop over thinking everything. I love my Social Work class. I love psychology and meeting new people and helping them in whatever ways that I can. I have always thought that I would be able to truly help people as a therapist. Why should all of these other thoughts come in and jumble everything up?
Still, the big question that I am trying to answer this semester remains. Is this something that I could see as a career? I learned in class, recently, that it is possible to become a therapist with a Master's degree in Social Work. That is something that I have always thought would be incredibly interesting. The problem I've had with it in the past is that I had been led to believe that you had to have a PhD in Psychology to be able to go into that career field and I really just do not want to be in school for that long. A Master's degree, though? I think I can handle the five total years of schooling required to earn an MSW. I'm already a year down. To think that four years from now I could be going out into the field doing something that I have always imagined myself doing is kind of incredible to me. Three years from now I could have a BSW and be working in a place where I could be truly helping people. The idea is such a dream to me.
Does the fact that this inspires me so much mean that it will be a better fit for me than teaching would? I can seriously imagine myself living in an apartment, working in the social work field wherever I can with my BSW while working on my MSW with the ultimate goal of becoming a therapist somewhere down the line. It seems like a life that I would really, really love and something that I could really want. I've always had reservations about going into teaching. Would I really like it? Do I only really think teaching would be a good fit for me because school is really all I've ever known? Can I seriously teach English with the amount of time I've spent avoiding reading in school? My biggest concerns with Social Work so far have been whether or not I can find a job where I'll actually make money and if I'll become as burned out with it as the people that I have read about online are.
I've had this conversation with my mom a lot lately. She keeps saying to my sisters and I that we can't let our futures become focused on how much money we're going to make. I've been all over the place lately with things that I could possibly end up going into as a career. Conversations at work and with my friends always end up on the subject of how we're going to get out of our current jobs and into careers where we'll really start making money. If I go into the medical field or even accounting, I could definitely end up making more money than I ever would if I go into either teaching or social work. In fact, living in Utah means that I will probably always make less as a teacher and a social worker than I would in other areas of the US. Should that matter? If I take my mom's advice than the answer is certainly that it shouldn't matter if either of those things are something that I would truly enjoy doing. Plus, it's not like I would be out on the streets in either career. The average salary for them both is enough and certainly more than I would make if I were to leave school completely (which isn't even a thought, I'm just putting it out there as perspective.)
In an ideal world, someone would come up to me and say "You need to be this. Here's how you do it. Now go." As it is, I'm stuck trying to figure out for myself where I will fit in the world. Sometimes I feel like I hardly know myself at all. It's like looking at a complete stranger an trying to tell them what to do and where to live and how to feel. Maybe what I truly need to do is just stop over thinking everything. I love my Social Work class. I love psychology and meeting new people and helping them in whatever ways that I can. I have always thought that I would be able to truly help people as a therapist. Why should all of these other thoughts come in and jumble everything up?
BSW? BA? MSW? Too Many Possibilities.
Five years ago, I began this blog because it was a requirement for my ninth grade Honors English class. I had tried to blog in the past, but nothing had ever come of it. After that year, though, blogging became a habit for me. It was a chore at first. I never could come up with anything to write about and often wrote about that until I rambled myself into a topic. As time has passed, though, I've found that this blog has been more of a tool to help me regroup and focus my thoughts. My topics tend to be very similar and I tend to only write once or twice a month. Still, I have accumulated five whole years worth of thoughts and growth onto this blog.
I turn here whenever I have something big on my mind. Sometimes I end up writing about that something and sometimes I don't. Usually I don't. Still, my purpose is to regroup. Focus. Writing helps me do that. As I was once taught, "writing is thinking."
So lately I've been stuck on quite the dilemma. What do I want to do with my life? I am a Sophomore at WSU and I have almost completed my generals. Soon I will need to start working on my degree. But what is it that will truly make me happy? There are two major options weighing on my mind. I think I would enjoy both of them with relative success, I believe. Which would I be happier with, though? That is the true question.
Since about the same time that I started writing this blog, I became convinced that teaching English was something that I might want to do with my life. I love grammar and writing. An afternoon spent reading with a warm blanket on the sofa is my favorite way to relax. Would I be a decent teacher, though? Would I be happy trying to teach a subject as difficult as English to students who probably don't care to learn it? Or would I be better off working with a different set of interests? Say psychology?
When I was a junior at Layton High School, I passed my AP Psychology exam with a 5, the best scored I received in three years. I've always been a person intensely interested in people and their relationships with each other. I am an avid people-watcher. All of that combined with the fact that I just learned that it is not necessary to have a PhD in order to go into therapy creates a whole new level of questions for me. Would I like being a therapist? Are there jobs out there for it? Would I prefer it to teaching?
Really, I have a lot of things to consider here. I keep going back and forth between the two and their pros and cons. I still have absolutely no idea what I want to move forward with. Hopefully I'll be able to figure it out soon, though.
I turn here whenever I have something big on my mind. Sometimes I end up writing about that something and sometimes I don't. Usually I don't. Still, my purpose is to regroup. Focus. Writing helps me do that. As I was once taught, "writing is thinking."
So lately I've been stuck on quite the dilemma. What do I want to do with my life? I am a Sophomore at WSU and I have almost completed my generals. Soon I will need to start working on my degree. But what is it that will truly make me happy? There are two major options weighing on my mind. I think I would enjoy both of them with relative success, I believe. Which would I be happier with, though? That is the true question.
Since about the same time that I started writing this blog, I became convinced that teaching English was something that I might want to do with my life. I love grammar and writing. An afternoon spent reading with a warm blanket on the sofa is my favorite way to relax. Would I be a decent teacher, though? Would I be happy trying to teach a subject as difficult as English to students who probably don't care to learn it? Or would I be better off working with a different set of interests? Say psychology?
When I was a junior at Layton High School, I passed my AP Psychology exam with a 5, the best scored I received in three years. I've always been a person intensely interested in people and their relationships with each other. I am an avid people-watcher. All of that combined with the fact that I just learned that it is not necessary to have a PhD in order to go into therapy creates a whole new level of questions for me. Would I like being a therapist? Are there jobs out there for it? Would I prefer it to teaching?
Really, I have a lot of things to consider here. I keep going back and forth between the two and their pros and cons. I still have absolutely no idea what I want to move forward with. Hopefully I'll be able to figure it out soon, though.
Monday, August 13, 2012
My Sisters Are the Best
A month without writing anything and then two posts in as many days... That is so me.
I just barely got home from some time at my grandma's house. My mom decided that we needed to take some of the humongous zucchini from her garden over to them so that they could also enjoy the deliciousness. The awesome thing about evenings at my grandma's house (other than spending much enjoyed time with them) is that the drive home often inspires some great thoughts. I think it has something to do with the open farm land that goes on almost forever. Just at the horizon there is this great line of city lights that goes across the valley. It is so, so beautiful.
Tonight I found myself thinking about the fact that my baby sisters start high school in less than a month. It still seems so strange for me, sometimes, to think that I actually made it out of high school. That period of my life seemed so vast and insurmountable at the time. I was such a different person from the time I entered that school to the time I left it. Honestly, 95% of the things I learned were not part of the curriculum. Those three years were such an awkward time for me. I was constantly trying to change myself and make myself into these different ideas of who I should be. I think I came out an even better version of myself than I could have ever imagined. The friendships that endured are ones that I don't think I ever would have guessed at first either.
I'm excited for Abby and Linzie. At the beginning of September they will be starting on an awesome journey and I have a feeling that they are going to be so much more successful at it than I was. I am so incredibly proud of those two. Seriously. I look up to my littlest sisters so much. They are so organized and determined and they have their priorities straight in a way that I never did in high school and I still struggle with now. They won't learn as many things as I did the hard way. I think they'll make great friends from the beginning and I'm sure there will be some drama, but I know they'll handle it well.
Basically, my baby sisters are growing up and that's so weird to me because I already consider them as successful young adults because that's how they act. They constantly amaze me and are my heroes.
Seriously.
<3
(PS My little sister, Ashley, started her senior year of high school today. I can't believe we're all getting so old!)
I just barely got home from some time at my grandma's house. My mom decided that we needed to take some of the humongous zucchini from her garden over to them so that they could also enjoy the deliciousness. The awesome thing about evenings at my grandma's house (other than spending much enjoyed time with them) is that the drive home often inspires some great thoughts. I think it has something to do with the open farm land that goes on almost forever. Just at the horizon there is this great line of city lights that goes across the valley. It is so, so beautiful.
Tonight I found myself thinking about the fact that my baby sisters start high school in less than a month. It still seems so strange for me, sometimes, to think that I actually made it out of high school. That period of my life seemed so vast and insurmountable at the time. I was such a different person from the time I entered that school to the time I left it. Honestly, 95% of the things I learned were not part of the curriculum. Those three years were such an awkward time for me. I was constantly trying to change myself and make myself into these different ideas of who I should be. I think I came out an even better version of myself than I could have ever imagined. The friendships that endured are ones that I don't think I ever would have guessed at first either.
I'm excited for Abby and Linzie. At the beginning of September they will be starting on an awesome journey and I have a feeling that they are going to be so much more successful at it than I was. I am so incredibly proud of those two. Seriously. I look up to my littlest sisters so much. They are so organized and determined and they have their priorities straight in a way that I never did in high school and I still struggle with now. They won't learn as many things as I did the hard way. I think they'll make great friends from the beginning and I'm sure there will be some drama, but I know they'll handle it well.
Basically, my baby sisters are growing up and that's so weird to me because I already consider them as successful young adults because that's how they act. They constantly amaze me and are my heroes.
Seriously.
<3
(PS My little sister, Ashley, started her senior year of high school today. I can't believe we're all getting so old!)
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Lost
I guess that's all there is to describe me right now.
I don't really know where I fit. My school isn't where I belong. My work doesn't fit me. I flit in and out of my home life and I feel so disconnected from my family. I don't know where I'm going and I'm just....
Lost.
Anyway... Ignore this. Believe it or not, I did have a pretty great day... I just heard about something that got me thinking and I felt like I needed to write my thoughts down somewhere...
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
I Wish This Decision Could Be Easy
I recently wrote about my latest great idea to transfer to UVU and move down to Provo in the fall... Well, I did also mention that my ideas hardly ever come to fruition, right? I dream big things all the time. I come to decisions and I try to make plans but something always keeps me in my comfort zone. People have seen that about me and I've tried to get myself out of it. I feel like there are some risks that I really just need to take... However, moving to Provo is not one that is going to happen anytime soon.
It's not because I don't have the resources for it. I've been saving money for a while and I make enough on average to be able to afford living on my own. I could do it. It would probably even be a great experience for me. I'm not even nervous about the idea. I was really, really excited about the idea of being out on my own...
With my latest considerations, though, UVU doesn't really work for me. The biggest problem is that I have been considering going into Social Work... A degree that UVU doesn't offer.
Weber does, though. Therein lies my dilemma. I really have not liked going to Weber this year. I am not enjoying my classes and I haven't really made any friends. The only thing I really managed to do was convince myself that I was not on the correct career path for me. In the past year, instead of moving forward as I always strive to do, I've moved ten paces back.
Will another year at Weber be the same then? Or will I manage to find something, somewhere that fits me? I'm nervous about spending even one more semester in stagnation. I need to find some kind of path so that I can gain momentum. I've considered transferring to the U... But it's so much more expensive. When I really have no idea what I'm going to be doing four years from now, it's probably smart for me to stay put at least until I'm really on track.
I don't like having to make this decision. I hate that I have once again started making all of these plans while people in the background were absolutely convinced that I wouldn't do it. I don't like going back on that decision now partially because I know those people will be thinking that they are right. They aren't, though.
I haven't decided not to move because I have it so much better at home. I know that I have it easier at home. Part of the reason I want to move is that it will force me out of my box and challenge me. That is not why I'm staying put. The truth is that if I want to continue to explore this latest possibility for myself, I need to be at a school that will allow that. I know it's the safer option. I know that people expected me to go back on this like I have on other things in the past.
The thing is, I want to go to UVU. I really wish that they had a bachelor program in Social Work. I think I would love the environment and I think it would be a great experience for me. I am really bummed that I have to go back on this decision that I had made and planned out. I don't want to stay at Weber. If the other option, though, is to spend more of my time doing absolutely nothing with no idea of where I'm going, then I'm going to have to reevaluate.
And that is my latest struggle.
It's not because I don't have the resources for it. I've been saving money for a while and I make enough on average to be able to afford living on my own. I could do it. It would probably even be a great experience for me. I'm not even nervous about the idea. I was really, really excited about the idea of being out on my own...
With my latest considerations, though, UVU doesn't really work for me. The biggest problem is that I have been considering going into Social Work... A degree that UVU doesn't offer.
Weber does, though. Therein lies my dilemma. I really have not liked going to Weber this year. I am not enjoying my classes and I haven't really made any friends. The only thing I really managed to do was convince myself that I was not on the correct career path for me. In the past year, instead of moving forward as I always strive to do, I've moved ten paces back.
Will another year at Weber be the same then? Or will I manage to find something, somewhere that fits me? I'm nervous about spending even one more semester in stagnation. I need to find some kind of path so that I can gain momentum. I've considered transferring to the U... But it's so much more expensive. When I really have no idea what I'm going to be doing four years from now, it's probably smart for me to stay put at least until I'm really on track.
I don't like having to make this decision. I hate that I have once again started making all of these plans while people in the background were absolutely convinced that I wouldn't do it. I don't like going back on that decision now partially because I know those people will be thinking that they are right. They aren't, though.
I haven't decided not to move because I have it so much better at home. I know that I have it easier at home. Part of the reason I want to move is that it will force me out of my box and challenge me. That is not why I'm staying put. The truth is that if I want to continue to explore this latest possibility for myself, I need to be at a school that will allow that. I know it's the safer option. I know that people expected me to go back on this like I have on other things in the past.
The thing is, I want to go to UVU. I really wish that they had a bachelor program in Social Work. I think I would love the environment and I think it would be a great experience for me. I am really bummed that I have to go back on this decision that I had made and planned out. I don't want to stay at Weber. If the other option, though, is to spend more of my time doing absolutely nothing with no idea of where I'm going, then I'm going to have to reevaluate.
And that is my latest struggle.
Saturday, February 18, 2012
When I Was 19
I wrote the other day about how I always get big ideas when I'm about to leave for work. Another place where my mind really just goes wild is when I'm driving. I'll be headed to school or work or wherever I have to be and all of the sudden a phrase or image will pop into my mind. It's often inspired by the music I'm listening to. Usually it has something to do with whatever big decisions I'm trying to make at the time.
Yesterday, as I was driving home from school, I was thinking about college and UVU and my ever changing ideas about what I want to do with my life. I was thinking about how big of a change I'm going to be going through in about six months. Then I realized... Everything that I'm doing right now, all of my big dilemmas and uncertainties, they're all going to be stories one day. When I'm older and have everything figured out, when I have kids that are facing similar issues, I'll probably tell them about how I was absolutely clueless about what I wanted to do during my freshman year of college.
I'll be able to tell them that it isn't necessary to have everything figured out when you graduate high school. I remember thinking that last year. I thought that I needed to have a specific plan. I also thought that I was ahead of a lot of other people that I knew because I was sure of my path; I knew what I wanted to do and where I wanted to be. That couldn't be farther from the truth these days. I've changed my mind about everything this year. I want to be a different kind of person, I want to go to UVU, I don't want to be an English teacher. These things are all big in their own right and they all leave me with dozens of new things to figure out. I'm not really close to having any of them straightened out in my mind.
That's ok, though. There's nothing wrong with having to take some time to figure things out. I'm still in school and I'm still working. That's the important thing. I don't need to have things figured out completely as long as I'm still moving forward.
This whole thought process was at least partially inspired by Jocelyn's blog that I mentioned a while ago. It was her idea first that these are the things she will be telling her children one day. So when I'm old and have found my place in the world, I can tell my kids that when I was 19 I didn't have any idea what I was going to do with my life. But I figured it out.
Yesterday, as I was driving home from school, I was thinking about college and UVU and my ever changing ideas about what I want to do with my life. I was thinking about how big of a change I'm going to be going through in about six months. Then I realized... Everything that I'm doing right now, all of my big dilemmas and uncertainties, they're all going to be stories one day. When I'm older and have everything figured out, when I have kids that are facing similar issues, I'll probably tell them about how I was absolutely clueless about what I wanted to do during my freshman year of college.
I'll be able to tell them that it isn't necessary to have everything figured out when you graduate high school. I remember thinking that last year. I thought that I needed to have a specific plan. I also thought that I was ahead of a lot of other people that I knew because I was sure of my path; I knew what I wanted to do and where I wanted to be. That couldn't be farther from the truth these days. I've changed my mind about everything this year. I want to be a different kind of person, I want to go to UVU, I don't want to be an English teacher. These things are all big in their own right and they all leave me with dozens of new things to figure out. I'm not really close to having any of them straightened out in my mind.
That's ok, though. There's nothing wrong with having to take some time to figure things out. I'm still in school and I'm still working. That's the important thing. I don't need to have things figured out completely as long as I'm still moving forward.
This whole thought process was at least partially inspired by Jocelyn's blog that I mentioned a while ago. It was her idea first that these are the things she will be telling her children one day. So when I'm old and have found my place in the world, I can tell my kids that when I was 19 I didn't have any idea what I was going to do with my life. But I figured it out.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
So Different, Yet the Same
Parking at Weber is often ridiculous. In fact, if you arrive anywhere between 8:01 and 11:19, you are typically going to spend up to an hour driving through parking lots looking for someone is leaving right that second. I was one of the people who did this several times a week until I realized that it is so much faster just to park at the Dee Events Center and take the shuttle to canvas. That is where I parked today.
After getting off of the shuttle, I noticed that the walkway headed toward the Union Building had white and purple balloons lining it every few feet. I was confused until I saw a sign saying "Wildcat Welcome" with an arrow directing people toward the UB. I was then hit with a realization. Today was Wildcat Welcome. How have we managed to get through an entire month of 2012 with me only barely realizing it? It's crazy really. I remember going to wildcat welcome last year with Carley and our friend Claire. We were all so excited.
Now, a year later, and Claire is in California. Carley and I are going to Weber on very different schedules and having completely different experiences. But back then we were all in the same place; we were all Layton High seniors with big dreams and hardly any clue what we were actually doing. I think that could really describe most of the people that I knew from my senior class at the time.
Where did the last year go? Somewhere between my own Wildcat Welcome and now I managed to graduate high school, work through the drama that is Boondocks during the summer, and survive my first semester of college. I feel like all of this went by in a blur.
And guess what?
After getting off of the shuttle, I noticed that the walkway headed toward the Union Building had white and purple balloons lining it every few feet. I was confused until I saw a sign saying "Wildcat Welcome" with an arrow directing people toward the UB. I was then hit with a realization. Today was Wildcat Welcome. How have we managed to get through an entire month of 2012 with me only barely realizing it? It's crazy really. I remember going to wildcat welcome last year with Carley and our friend Claire. We were all so excited.
Now, a year later, and Claire is in California. Carley and I are going to Weber on very different schedules and having completely different experiences. But back then we were all in the same place; we were all Layton High seniors with big dreams and hardly any clue what we were actually doing. I think that could really describe most of the people that I knew from my senior class at the time.
Where did the last year go? Somewhere between my own Wildcat Welcome and now I managed to graduate high school, work through the drama that is Boondocks during the summer, and survive my first semester of college. I feel like all of this went by in a blur.
And guess what?
I still feel exactly like that Layton High senior with big dreams and no idea what I'm actually going to do with my life.
How is it that some parts of our lives leave us feeling like a completely different person and yet other, more eventful, periods of time end with us feeling like the exact same person we were? It's almost as if I've been standing on stage. The scenery behind me is constantly changing, yet I continue to stand there, looking into the audience with absolutely no idea of what is going on.
The more likely possibility is that I just haven't taken the time to notice all the ways that I've changed in the past year. I'm sure if I spent one day with any of my friends from high school (minus Kara who is the only one I'm still really in contact with) they would be able to tell me any number of things that seem different. Or maybe not. Maybe the changes of the last year were so subtle that they aren't easily noticed right now. Maybe those changes haven't really been completed yet.
mL would certainly be able to point out differences in myself that I haven't noticed. The big difference there is that I haven't seen her in nearly three years. I was going through such huge changes in my life around the time when she moved to Texas that I'm not even sure if we'd be compatible friends anymore. Who knows how much she changed during that time frame.
Anyway, as you can see, my brain wasn't really focused on Human Development of The Short Life of Francis Macombre today. I spent most of my classes thinking about how different things are now and how not different I feel.
Happy February, everyone!
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
New Year, New Goals
I meant to get around to writing this much sooner. I mean, four whole days into the new year and I haven't written anything?!? That may be a first. Here's the thing, though, I don't spend nearly as much time on the computer these days. It's one of the many pieces my New Year's resolution.
I believe I've talked about New Year's resolutions in the past. At the end of 2009 I talked about writing a journal because I wouldn't have to be careful with my thoughts. Two years later, I realize that what I should have actually been working toward (and keeping a journal could still have been my method of doing this) would be making my thoughts more positive. No matter how much I have denied it in the past, I have always been very focused on what goes wrong with my life. This way of being has contributed to bad moods, grades lower than I am capable of, and more than one lost friendship.
What does all this have to do with my 2012 New Year's resolution?
It all begins with a desk. Or, more correctly, it all begins with the lack of a desk.
All through junior high and high school, I would always do my homework (when I actually did it at all) around my kitchen table with my sisters. This worked out well mostly because, in high school and junior high, I never actually had to put much effort into my work. It all came easily to me. What were a few distractions when I could probably do the math problems in my sleep anyway?
One of the things that I learned last semester was that college works requires concentration. Unlike in high school or junior high, my professors are not going to accept the bare minimum from me. I have to work hard on every assignment, every paper. I have to read the textbooks and retain the material. I have to be able to focus. Working around the kitchen table just does not encourage anything of the sort. So I asked my mom for a desk for Christmas.
She actually had me looking at them with her once or twice. We swapped links to websites while she was at work but could never find anything that looked like it would work in my room. I figured that I probably wouldn't be getting a desk for Christmas.
Guess what?
I got the coolest desk ever.
Anyway, the night that I got my desk set up in my room I had my mom come and see it. I mentioned how I thought my walls were boring since I finally took all of my old Science Olympiad medals down. The comment that she made is really what got me thinking about my New Year's resolution in an odd way. She said that most teenagers have posters up on their walls. Simple enough, right? Not that strange of a comment. I have never had posters on my walls and that is kind of weird. I decided then that I needed to get some.
In my search for good posters for my room, I came across the Dalai Lama's A to ZEN of Life. After reading the poster, I decided that I must have it. Each letter of the alphabet is represented by a saying such as "remember that silence is sometimes the best answer" and "stop procrastinating." There are twenty six of them (obviously) and I plan to focus on three of them a month. At the same time, I have a bunch of more physical goals that I plan to work on each month (i.e. going to the gym twice a week.)
My New Year's resolution could be considered one thing (becoming a healthier and happier person) or it could be split into well over 30. Still, I have broken it down into a calendar of goals, an idea that I stole from my friend Jocelyn.
Four days in and I can tell that it is going to be tough. I've been stuck in a not-so-great place for a while with no attempt to really change my thoughts or behavior. This is the year, though. It's time for me to be happy with who I am. For real. No doubt. No questions. No need for reassurance from others.
I believe I've talked about New Year's resolutions in the past. At the end of 2009 I talked about writing a journal because I wouldn't have to be careful with my thoughts. Two years later, I realize that what I should have actually been working toward (and keeping a journal could still have been my method of doing this) would be making my thoughts more positive. No matter how much I have denied it in the past, I have always been very focused on what goes wrong with my life. This way of being has contributed to bad moods, grades lower than I am capable of, and more than one lost friendship.
What does all this have to do with my 2012 New Year's resolution?
It all begins with a desk. Or, more correctly, it all begins with the lack of a desk.
All through junior high and high school, I would always do my homework (when I actually did it at all) around my kitchen table with my sisters. This worked out well mostly because, in high school and junior high, I never actually had to put much effort into my work. It all came easily to me. What were a few distractions when I could probably do the math problems in my sleep anyway?
One of the things that I learned last semester was that college works requires concentration. Unlike in high school or junior high, my professors are not going to accept the bare minimum from me. I have to work hard on every assignment, every paper. I have to read the textbooks and retain the material. I have to be able to focus. Working around the kitchen table just does not encourage anything of the sort. So I asked my mom for a desk for Christmas.
She actually had me looking at them with her once or twice. We swapped links to websites while she was at work but could never find anything that looked like it would work in my room. I figured that I probably wouldn't be getting a desk for Christmas.
Guess what?
I got the coolest desk ever.
Anyway, the night that I got my desk set up in my room I had my mom come and see it. I mentioned how I thought my walls were boring since I finally took all of my old Science Olympiad medals down. The comment that she made is really what got me thinking about my New Year's resolution in an odd way. She said that most teenagers have posters up on their walls. Simple enough, right? Not that strange of a comment. I have never had posters on my walls and that is kind of weird. I decided then that I needed to get some.
In my search for good posters for my room, I came across the Dalai Lama's A to ZEN of Life. After reading the poster, I decided that I must have it. Each letter of the alphabet is represented by a saying such as "remember that silence is sometimes the best answer" and "stop procrastinating." There are twenty six of them (obviously) and I plan to focus on three of them a month. At the same time, I have a bunch of more physical goals that I plan to work on each month (i.e. going to the gym twice a week.)
My New Year's resolution could be considered one thing (becoming a healthier and happier person) or it could be split into well over 30. Still, I have broken it down into a calendar of goals, an idea that I stole from my friend Jocelyn.
Four days in and I can tell that it is going to be tough. I've been stuck in a not-so-great place for a while with no attempt to really change my thoughts or behavior. This is the year, though. It's time for me to be happy with who I am. For real. No doubt. No questions. No need for reassurance from others.
Thursday, December 8, 2011
I've Learned Some Things
I literally just finished taking my last final for my Fall Semester classes. I have been putting off my Astronomy final for a week and today was the last day to take it. I'm actually quite pleased with my score. When compared with most of my grades this semester, a B does not really look fantastic, but I learned much more from that class than the six or seven phases the universe went through during the first few nanoseconds of its existence. That class taught me about myself more than anything else.
Coming into college in August, I did not believe a single word of what my mom and my various teachers in the past had told me about college being completely different. I truly did not think that I would have to work any harder than I did in high school (which was not hard at all.) It took a while for the realization to sink in that I would have to learn study skills and I would be challenged like I had not been in the past.
I still have not quite figured out the best way for me to study. I know that it is going to require more preparation than what I attempted to use this week for my finals. I know that it will mean that I have to force myself to prioritize better. I also know that I cannot work in a messy space, which means I am going to have to clean my bedroom more often.
In the mess that I created by not studying this semester, I may have lost my full-tuition scholarship. It is not something that I am proud of. In fact, I have spent a lot of time hating myself over it in the last couple weeks. I made a decision yesterday, though. If I do lose my scholarship, I am not going to keep beating myself up over it. I made some bad decisions this semester. Those decisions have created consequences that are probably going to affect me for a very long time. Continuing to be angry at myself over the situation will not help me do any better next semester, though. The most important thing is that I learned from the experience.
Anyway, my first semester at WSU has been a little crazy. Now I have three weeks off of school before I start an even heavier course load next semester. Plan to see me blogging a little bit more during that time. I definitely have some ideas floating around in my head that need to be recorded.
Coming into college in August, I did not believe a single word of what my mom and my various teachers in the past had told me about college being completely different. I truly did not think that I would have to work any harder than I did in high school (which was not hard at all.) It took a while for the realization to sink in that I would have to learn study skills and I would be challenged like I had not been in the past.
I still have not quite figured out the best way for me to study. I know that it is going to require more preparation than what I attempted to use this week for my finals. I know that it will mean that I have to force myself to prioritize better. I also know that I cannot work in a messy space, which means I am going to have to clean my bedroom more often.
In the mess that I created by not studying this semester, I may have lost my full-tuition scholarship. It is not something that I am proud of. In fact, I have spent a lot of time hating myself over it in the last couple weeks. I made a decision yesterday, though. If I do lose my scholarship, I am not going to keep beating myself up over it. I made some bad decisions this semester. Those decisions have created consequences that are probably going to affect me for a very long time. Continuing to be angry at myself over the situation will not help me do any better next semester, though. The most important thing is that I learned from the experience.
Anyway, my first semester at WSU has been a little crazy. Now I have three weeks off of school before I start an even heavier course load next semester. Plan to see me blogging a little bit more during that time. I definitely have some ideas floating around in my head that need to be recorded.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Public-Personal Diaries
So this is the last paper that I have to turn in for my English 2010 class. It's a research/analysis paper about why people blog... Somehow, it's turned out to have a slightly negative tone toward it. I obviously do not dislike blogging... I've kept this blog for five years now. I like blogging. Anyway, here it is. Read it or not. Feel free to let me know what you think if you read it, though.
Public-Personal Diaries
People have kept personal journals
in some form since the beginning of time. Some of the journals have even become
an important part of history. Anne Frank’s journal that she kept during World
War II while she was in hiding with her family is one of them. Still, most
journals were not created with the intention of having the whole world read
them. In the last fifteen years, however, the expanding popularity of blogging
has placed the personal diary on display for the whole world to see.
Su-Houn Liu, Hsiu-Li Liao and
Yuan-Zeng, researchers at Chung Yuan Christian University, define blogging as
“a Web site where journal entries are shown in reverse chronological order and
usually provide access to their archives and a way to post comments” (Liu 232).
Blogs are written with a large variety of purposes. Some blogs are a form of
news while others act as a forum for communication. Even more blogs fit the
description that Brian Williams made, “Diaries once sealed under lock and key
are now called blogs and posted daily for all those who care to make the
emotional investment” (Williams 449).
Beginning in the late 1990s, the most common
type of blog was used to express the American idea that “if it has to do with
you, or your life, it’s important enough to tell someone” (Williams 449). As a
society, we value ourselves and think that other people should also value the
things that happen to us and what we have to say about these events. As a
result of this narcissistic behavior, many blogs are created to share the
content of a person’s life with whatever part of the world is willing to
listen. The internet is such a large place that there is bound to be someone
interested and if not then they will have a public place to say whatever they
want without the real world consequences of it. Blog writers, or bloggers, can
take their lives online and may receive comments or not depending on whether
readers have anything to say. This may be why many even continue to write for
long periods of time with no evidence of having any audience whatsoever. The
act of blogging is like talking to yourself in a crowded room and hoping someone
will overhear and find it interesting enough to respond.
Heather Armstrong began her popular
blog in February of 2001 without any expectation of having a large readership. “I
launched dooce.com as a place to write about pop culture, music, and my life as
a single woman. I never expected more than a couple of dozen people to read it”
(Armstrong). Her topics ranged from things like Carnation milk to the men that
she had dated. She was also living in Los Angeles and had a full time job. At
the time, her blog was merely a hobby.
Armstrong is one of many bloggers who began with the intention of just writing as something to do. Her blog was a place for her to write down what was going on in her life. Even though she was not expecting many people to read it, she was likely hoping to generate some sort of feedback. However, after blogging about some of the less pleasant aspects of her job, Armstrong was fired when someone anonymously emailed the Vice Presidents of the company. Later that same day she wrote a blog asking this question “At what point does my personal website, regardless of what I’ve published on the site affect my professional life?” (Armstrong)
Now, ten years later, Armstrong and her family rely on her blog as their primary source of income. She has added marriage, children, and life as a professional blogger to her ever growing list of topics and has a much larger readership than before. Over the years, she has adapted her blog to the changing situations in her life.
Armstrong is one of many bloggers who began with the intention of just writing as something to do. Her blog was a place for her to write down what was going on in her life. Even though she was not expecting many people to read it, she was likely hoping to generate some sort of feedback. However, after blogging about some of the less pleasant aspects of her job, Armstrong was fired when someone anonymously emailed the Vice Presidents of the company. Later that same day she wrote a blog asking this question “At what point does my personal website, regardless of what I’ve published on the site affect my professional life?” (Armstrong)
Now, ten years later, Armstrong and her family rely on her blog as their primary source of income. She has added marriage, children, and life as a professional blogger to her ever growing list of topics and has a much larger readership than before. Over the years, she has adapted her blog to the changing situations in her life.
The
NieNie Dialogues is another blog that was created with
the intention of being a hobby for its writer, Stephanie Nielson. Her blog
began ten years ago as a place for her to write about her life with her husband
and daughter in Arizona. There was no greater purpose to her blog than having
somewhere to show off pictures that she took and share moments of her life with
whomever would read it.
When Nielson and her husband were in a
plane crash in August 2008, she was forced to stop writing. Over 80% of her skin
was burned, and she was in a coma for three months. During the time that she
was in the hospital, Nielson’s sister C-Jane (another well-known blogger) took
over the blog. C-Jane updated readers on Nielson’s health and reposted older
posts of Nielson’s that were indicated as favorites by her readers.
In January of 2009 readers were shocked
when Nielson came back saying “It’s true. I am alive. I look different. I walk slow...and type
slower. But it’s good to be back!”
(Nielson) Now Nielson is a well-known inspirational blogger, often writing
things like “I guess that is why we live each day with faith so when and if
something happens to us, we are prepared… It’s not easy, it’s actually a huge
challenge… but it is possible and a much easier and happier way to live”
(Nielson). Despite the fact that her blogs are filled with punctuation and
grammatical errors, her fans continue to read her blog. They continue to read
because they are interested in what she has to say.
When bloggers continue to write over
a long time period, it often becomes necessary for them to adapt to changes
within their lives and their readership. The tone behind Nielson’s blogging
changed significantly after her accident, becoming more inspirational and
grateful for every single experience she has in her life. However, she also
discusses the difficulties that arise from living with such a tragic injury.
Armstrong adapted her blog when it became her job. She posts more blogs a day now than she did when she originally began writing. The posts are still short and easy to follow. They are still humorous much of the time and give her readers a sense of who she is. However, they are no longer purely a hobby. Armstrong posts to her blog because it is what keeps her and her family financially sound.
It was when Armstrong began making an income from her blog and her audience increased that her purpose in blogging changed. In fact, Nardi et. al found in their research that “blogs create the audience, but the audience also creates the blog. This linkage happen[s] in a number of ways: friends urging friends to blog, readers letting bloggers know they were waiting for posts, bloggers crafting posts with their audience in mind, and bloggers continuing discussions with readers in other media outside of the blog” (Nardi 224 ). Not only did Armstrong have to adapt to the changes in her life, but she had to adapt to the popularity of her blog. The audience that follows her blog no longer have to wait a week or more for her to post something new as they would have in the past. Armstrong is able to write or post pictures multiple times a day because it is her full time job. If she were to stop posting as, her readership would probably drop as they looked for blogs that suited their immediate interest.
While Nielson and Armtrong’s blogs both have fairly large readerships, there are even more blogs that do not. In fact, according to Liu, Liao and Zeng, there were over 73 million blogs on the internet in 2006, a number that was growing at a rate of 175,000 blogs daily. Most of these blogs are written by people who have not had any extraordinary life event happen to generate readers. So why do these people continue to blog? According to Liu’s research “bloggers ranked pouring out feelings and connecting with people respectively, as their two most valued rewards” (Liu 234). Simply having a space to put their thoughts, emotions and daily experiences outweighs having someone comment on what they are saying.
This idea that a person’s blog is their space in which they can keep any and every thought they want written down may be why more and more people blog every day. Blogs do not truly belong to the people who are writing them, though. In fact, as David Teten says, “most hosting companies, including blog hosting companies, also have terms of service that are more restrictive than free speech limits” (Teten 474). Bloggers can often find themselves in trouble, whether from the hosting websites or from their readers, when they write based on the idea that they can say whatever they want. What they probably do not consider is what would happen if their online secrets were to be discovered.
As Armstrong demonstrated when she wrote about the company she was working for, bloggers can write about whatever they please but within limits and with possible consequences. Teten points out that “most hosting companies, including blog hosting companies, also have terms of service that are more restrictive than free speech limits, typically restricting hate speech and pornography” (Teten 474). The general idea here is that as long as bloggers are directly slandering anyone or graphically offending them, they are free to discuss whatever they want. This does not eliminate the real world consequences of their words, though.
There is no guarantee that what is written on a blog will remain on a blog. Bloggers take a risk when they choose to post their personal lives to the internet. Just as bloggers often adapt their writing to the events that are occurring in their lives, sometimes they are forced to adjust their lives to the consequences of the things they have written when an unwanted audience reads them.
No matter how anonymous blogs may seem, they really are public archives subject to a complicated web of bloggers and readers. “People typically [find] blogs through other blogs they [are] reading, through friends or colleagues telling them about their blogs or those of others or through inclusion of the blog URL in an instant message profile or a homepage” (Nardi 224). The results of this constant sharing are large blogging communities of bloggers and readers who have similar interests. If a blogger is followed by someone they know offline, then it would not be difficult for others in their lives to hear of the blog and to see what is written on it. The consequences of someone offline discovering online secrets are not often at the forefront of a blogger’s mind when they are writing. They are simply putting their lives out there for others to see, whether they meant to or not.
In a society as individualistic as ours, it is no surprise that people want everyone around them to care about what is going on in their lives. Blogs provide people with a place to write or post anything that they want in a way that anyone in the world who is interested can see it. While blogging often begins as a hobby, many long-time bloggers find that their blogs adapt into something more specific, like the inspirational words offered by Stephanie Nielson or the humorous commentary that is found on dooce.com. Still others continue to blog for the simple value of having somewhere to put their emotions and to write about their lives. These public, personal diaries are often created with a single purpose but usually end up being something quite different for each person who writes one. Bloggers are forced to adapt to change just as all other people in the world are forced to adapt to their environment and the other people around them.
Armstrong adapted her blog when it became her job. She posts more blogs a day now than she did when she originally began writing. The posts are still short and easy to follow. They are still humorous much of the time and give her readers a sense of who she is. However, they are no longer purely a hobby. Armstrong posts to her blog because it is what keeps her and her family financially sound.
It was when Armstrong began making an income from her blog and her audience increased that her purpose in blogging changed. In fact, Nardi et. al found in their research that “blogs create the audience, but the audience also creates the blog. This linkage happen[s] in a number of ways: friends urging friends to blog, readers letting bloggers know they were waiting for posts, bloggers crafting posts with their audience in mind, and bloggers continuing discussions with readers in other media outside of the blog” (Nardi 224 ). Not only did Armstrong have to adapt to the changes in her life, but she had to adapt to the popularity of her blog. The audience that follows her blog no longer have to wait a week or more for her to post something new as they would have in the past. Armstrong is able to write or post pictures multiple times a day because it is her full time job. If she were to stop posting as, her readership would probably drop as they looked for blogs that suited their immediate interest.
While Nielson and Armtrong’s blogs both have fairly large readerships, there are even more blogs that do not. In fact, according to Liu, Liao and Zeng, there were over 73 million blogs on the internet in 2006, a number that was growing at a rate of 175,000 blogs daily. Most of these blogs are written by people who have not had any extraordinary life event happen to generate readers. So why do these people continue to blog? According to Liu’s research “bloggers ranked pouring out feelings and connecting with people respectively, as their two most valued rewards” (Liu 234). Simply having a space to put their thoughts, emotions and daily experiences outweighs having someone comment on what they are saying.
This idea that a person’s blog is their space in which they can keep any and every thought they want written down may be why more and more people blog every day. Blogs do not truly belong to the people who are writing them, though. In fact, as David Teten says, “most hosting companies, including blog hosting companies, also have terms of service that are more restrictive than free speech limits” (Teten 474). Bloggers can often find themselves in trouble, whether from the hosting websites or from their readers, when they write based on the idea that they can say whatever they want. What they probably do not consider is what would happen if their online secrets were to be discovered.
As Armstrong demonstrated when she wrote about the company she was working for, bloggers can write about whatever they please but within limits and with possible consequences. Teten points out that “most hosting companies, including blog hosting companies, also have terms of service that are more restrictive than free speech limits, typically restricting hate speech and pornography” (Teten 474). The general idea here is that as long as bloggers are directly slandering anyone or graphically offending them, they are free to discuss whatever they want. This does not eliminate the real world consequences of their words, though.
There is no guarantee that what is written on a blog will remain on a blog. Bloggers take a risk when they choose to post their personal lives to the internet. Just as bloggers often adapt their writing to the events that are occurring in their lives, sometimes they are forced to adjust their lives to the consequences of the things they have written when an unwanted audience reads them.
No matter how anonymous blogs may seem, they really are public archives subject to a complicated web of bloggers and readers. “People typically [find] blogs through other blogs they [are] reading, through friends or colleagues telling them about their blogs or those of others or through inclusion of the blog URL in an instant message profile or a homepage” (Nardi 224). The results of this constant sharing are large blogging communities of bloggers and readers who have similar interests. If a blogger is followed by someone they know offline, then it would not be difficult for others in their lives to hear of the blog and to see what is written on it. The consequences of someone offline discovering online secrets are not often at the forefront of a blogger’s mind when they are writing. They are simply putting their lives out there for others to see, whether they meant to or not.
In a society as individualistic as ours, it is no surprise that people want everyone around them to care about what is going on in their lives. Blogs provide people with a place to write or post anything that they want in a way that anyone in the world who is interested can see it. While blogging often begins as a hobby, many long-time bloggers find that their blogs adapt into something more specific, like the inspirational words offered by Stephanie Nielson or the humorous commentary that is found on dooce.com. Still others continue to blog for the simple value of having somewhere to put their emotions and to write about their lives. These public, personal diaries are often created with a single purpose but usually end up being something quite different for each person who writes one. Bloggers are forced to adapt to change just as all other people in the world are forced to adapt to their environment and the other people around them.
Friday, October 21, 2011
BFftM: Best Friends for the Moment
Have you ever had that friend who you have known for quite some time, but it is months or even years before you become close? Then once you do become close, you do so pretty quickly, so quickly sometimes, that it seems to be overnight? Well, this seems to happen to me a lot. I swear, I go through best friends like pairs of socks. You know the really cool ones that are so great that you never want to get rid of them, but once you get a knew pair, the old ones are only worn once every few months.
If you look through my blogs of the past five years, you will notice that I have a different best friend almost every year. 9th grade was the year that Mary Lauren and I spent all of our time together, sophmore year was Ian, junior year was Kara, senior year was Maddy... I only even still talk to one of those four. Lately, my best friend has been a girl from Boondocks who is also a cook. Tori is a year younger than me and we actually met two years ago when she was new at our high school and Carley and I were ambassadors.
It wasn't until the last month or so that Tori and I started hanging out. One night at work we were having a really good conversation but couldn't finish it because we had cleaning to get done. When we were done we went out to one of our cars and just continued the conversation.
Now it has become kind of a thing for us. Whenever we finish working but we're not really ready to go home for the night, we get in our cars and meet somewhere to talk. Sometimes we just sit there and listen to music and tonight she told me a story as we looked at the stars through my sun rough. As we were watching, a shooting star shot across the sky. Tori had never seen one before and it was so cool because it worked really well with the story she was telling.
It's great to have a friend who I can tell the things that I never felt that I could tell to anyone else, but I wish there was something in my life that was more consistent. My work and school schedules are always changing, the friends that I have are always changing, and I don't see my family that often anymore. I feel like I'm all over the place all of the time and it reminds me of Desmond from LOST.
I guess I just need a Constant.
:D
If you look through my blogs of the past five years, you will notice that I have a different best friend almost every year. 9th grade was the year that Mary Lauren and I spent all of our time together, sophmore year was Ian, junior year was Kara, senior year was Maddy... I only even still talk to one of those four. Lately, my best friend has been a girl from Boondocks who is also a cook. Tori is a year younger than me and we actually met two years ago when she was new at our high school and Carley and I were ambassadors.
It wasn't until the last month or so that Tori and I started hanging out. One night at work we were having a really good conversation but couldn't finish it because we had cleaning to get done. When we were done we went out to one of our cars and just continued the conversation.
Now it has become kind of a thing for us. Whenever we finish working but we're not really ready to go home for the night, we get in our cars and meet somewhere to talk. Sometimes we just sit there and listen to music and tonight she told me a story as we looked at the stars through my sun rough. As we were watching, a shooting star shot across the sky. Tori had never seen one before and it was so cool because it worked really well with the story she was telling.
It's great to have a friend who I can tell the things that I never felt that I could tell to anyone else, but I wish there was something in my life that was more consistent. My work and school schedules are always changing, the friends that I have are always changing, and I don't see my family that often anymore. I feel like I'm all over the place all of the time and it reminds me of Desmond from LOST.
I guess I just need a Constant.
:D
Monday, September 19, 2011
Just Keep Swimming...
So, as you can probably tell, my life is still insanely busy. Right now I'm sitting with Carley at Weber and I should be working on my English paper that I have to write for tomorrow. I have to work tonight, so the paper has to get done before I go in at four.
I'm not so sure that I've got this whole college thing figured out yet. I'm still just trying to get through every moment without drowning in it. But I'm doing better. I'm definitely enjoying myself more. I think I've found a way to get through my Astronomy class without losing my scholarship.
I'm also finally getting some time off.
Next week I'm going to New Orleans with my dad and some other family for a conference that he is recording. I'm not really sure what I'm going to be doing, but he's paying me to leave school and work behind for five days. I'm all for it. I get on a plane with my cousin next Wednesday evening. We'll meet my dad and the others at the airport. Then I'm coming home Sunday morning. Once I'm home, I'll have no school and no work until the next day. Isn't it great? One whole day with no school and no work. I had forgotten that such days exist.
Anyway, I just wanted to check in briefly because I haven't written in a while. I'll probably post my paper when I'm done with it, but that might not be until I turn in the final draft next week.
I'm not so sure that I've got this whole college thing figured out yet. I'm still just trying to get through every moment without drowning in it. But I'm doing better. I'm definitely enjoying myself more. I think I've found a way to get through my Astronomy class without losing my scholarship.
I'm also finally getting some time off.
Next week I'm going to New Orleans with my dad and some other family for a conference that he is recording. I'm not really sure what I'm going to be doing, but he's paying me to leave school and work behind for five days. I'm all for it. I get on a plane with my cousin next Wednesday evening. We'll meet my dad and the others at the airport. Then I'm coming home Sunday morning. Once I'm home, I'll have no school and no work until the next day. Isn't it great? One whole day with no school and no work. I had forgotten that such days exist.
Anyway, I just wanted to check in briefly because I haven't written in a while. I'll probably post my paper when I'm done with it, but that might not be until I turn in the final draft next week.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
College
College.
This single word is something that I have seen as quite unattainable since I was little. Ten year old Madie could never have conceived that she would ever grow up. Fifteen year old Madi had no idea that, while most of high school would pass by in a blur, she would soon be hoping for the painfully slow weeks prior to graduation to go even the slightest bit faster. Eighteen year old Catherine, or Cat as some of my newer friends call me, is completely overwhelmed by whatever it is that she's gotten herself into.
After having wished away so much time and having spent years and years dreaming of what college would be like, it is strange to be able to finally say that I am a student at Weber State University. It is even more strange to walk into a class and be surrounded by people not only my age but any number of years older than me (a guy in my English 2010 class who I get into discussions with every class, announced yesterday that he has been out of school for 20 years.) It is weird not to be surrounded by people I know and it is a relief to not have to play the social game that was life at Layton High.
Yet, for all of its oddities, I have never felt more in my element than I do when I'm walking through the Union Building or discussing the politics of Modern Family in class.
This is by far, the biggest thing that has ever happened to me, and if I could have some time to just figure out how I'm going to handle all of the homework and get a good study schedule put together, then I would be loving it that much more. However, on top of starting college, I've also been dealing with an ever-increasing number of hours at work. This is because, just over a month ago, my boss fired two of our cooks at the same time that our manager and another cook quit.
For the last few weeks, everyone in the kitchen at Boondocks has been commenting on how different it is. After what happened, there were only half of our original group left. Five new people have been hired since then and the five of us who were left behind have been scrambling to get these newbies trained and to a point where we can step back and let them have a shift or two to themselves.
In the middle of this, it seems that everyone is passing around some "sickness" that always infects them mere hours before their shifts. Do you care to take a stab at who is being asked to cover all of these shifts?
It wouldn't be so bad if I could just figure out how to do all of my homework and work all of these shifts at the same time. What I need is one full day with no classes and no work to take a deep breath and get organized (and do my laundry.)
One tip for anyone still in high school: take the time and make a habit out of reading your textbooks. If you can make it any easier/less like a death sentence now, then you will just do that much better once you get to college. While a lot of what teachers say about college being a completely different, more difficult experience is not as huge as it is made out to be, there is a lot more reading required and there is no way to get around it in most cases.
I know this and I am only halfway through my second week.
I'm going to try to start writing on a regular basis as soon as I've got my study schedule figured out. College classes are giving me a LOT to think about and it seems like I have a great topic for this blog on a daily basis. There is just so much going on in my life right now.
This single word is something that I have seen as quite unattainable since I was little. Ten year old Madie could never have conceived that she would ever grow up. Fifteen year old Madi had no idea that, while most of high school would pass by in a blur, she would soon be hoping for the painfully slow weeks prior to graduation to go even the slightest bit faster. Eighteen year old Catherine, or Cat as some of my newer friends call me, is completely overwhelmed by whatever it is that she's gotten herself into.
After having wished away so much time and having spent years and years dreaming of what college would be like, it is strange to be able to finally say that I am a student at Weber State University. It is even more strange to walk into a class and be surrounded by people not only my age but any number of years older than me (a guy in my English 2010 class who I get into discussions with every class, announced yesterday that he has been out of school for 20 years.) It is weird not to be surrounded by people I know and it is a relief to not have to play the social game that was life at Layton High.
Yet, for all of its oddities, I have never felt more in my element than I do when I'm walking through the Union Building or discussing the politics of Modern Family in class.
This is by far, the biggest thing that has ever happened to me, and if I could have some time to just figure out how I'm going to handle all of the homework and get a good study schedule put together, then I would be loving it that much more. However, on top of starting college, I've also been dealing with an ever-increasing number of hours at work. This is because, just over a month ago, my boss fired two of our cooks at the same time that our manager and another cook quit.
For the last few weeks, everyone in the kitchen at Boondocks has been commenting on how different it is. After what happened, there were only half of our original group left. Five new people have been hired since then and the five of us who were left behind have been scrambling to get these newbies trained and to a point where we can step back and let them have a shift or two to themselves.
In the middle of this, it seems that everyone is passing around some "sickness" that always infects them mere hours before their shifts. Do you care to take a stab at who is being asked to cover all of these shifts?
It wouldn't be so bad if I could just figure out how to do all of my homework and work all of these shifts at the same time. What I need is one full day with no classes and no work to take a deep breath and get organized (and do my laundry.)
One tip for anyone still in high school: take the time and make a habit out of reading your textbooks. If you can make it any easier/less like a death sentence now, then you will just do that much better once you get to college. While a lot of what teachers say about college being a completely different, more difficult experience is not as huge as it is made out to be, there is a lot more reading required and there is no way to get around it in most cases.
I know this and I am only halfway through my second week.
I'm going to try to start writing on a regular basis as soon as I've got my study schedule figured out. College classes are giving me a LOT to think about and it seems like I have a great topic for this blog on a daily basis. There is just so much going on in my life right now.
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Where I Belong
Once upon a time a girl went to camp and met the most amazing people on the planet. They understood her and were more similar to her than anyone else she had ever met. Two people in particular became her best friends and they spent the week talking, laughing and stealing each others' things. Before the girl knew it, the week had come to an end and everyone went their separate ways. Now she is home and wants nothing more than to be with her friends again. At least school starts in two weeks, right?
Eventually I will get around to writing a detailed post or two about Project Launch, the amazing time I had and the people I met. For now though, I'm going to go get ready for work and get back to life without my fellow Launchers and Mentors who I already miss immensely. This past week was filled with some of the best days of my life and I don't think I could ever forget it.
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