HUGE news

So once again my life manages to take a complete turn in the few weeks since I have written a blog. I have something really big happening right now and I have somehow managed to find some really great friends in the deal as well.

It's no secret that I have been wanting to move out for a long time. I love my family and my parents are great for allowing me to live at home rent free, but I have been hoping to get out on my own for over a year now. Until recently, I had pretty much resigned myself to the fact that this was not going to happen. So when an old friend and coworker came back to Zupas a few months back and we talked and decided that we could maybe end up living together I still thought it was a long shot.

I never would have believed it if you had told me that I would be signing a lease on an apartment by the time March came around.

So yes. I am moving in with two of the coolest girls on the planet. It helps that I have known Hailee for over and decade and Amanda and I are becoming very fast friends. We are all excited to be out on our own. I'm still having a hard time believing that it's true.

We aren't moving in for over a month, though. So for now I just have to go through all of my old things and determine whether or not they are worth keeping. Expect pictures once we actually begin moving things and for sure by the time we get the apartment put together.

Seriously, though. This is the most exciting thing that has ever happened to me.

Transitions

As 2012 came to an end and we moved into the new year, I found myself thinking a lot about what I would start off my year blogging about. I've written a couple of drafts that discuss all of the things that the year taught me and all of the ways that my life changed. Those things are important and they're true... But I feel like I have already said so much about all of that. Those are the things that I write about all of the time. I am a person who is perpetually looking behind her and into the past. Why is that?

All I know is that sometime during the last year I have found myself struggling to move into a future that is really, really undefined. I have given myself the idea that what I am doing is progressing, but I'm not really. I have hopes, dreams, and ideas that create the illusion of progress... But am I really doing anything differently?

I go to school. I go to work. I sometimes clean my bedroom. Every once in a while a friend will reveal themselves from the woodwork and I'll spend a couple of days socializing. There is absolutely no difference between my actions now and my actions in high school. My mind is different. My outlook on life is different. My actions are the same. How is that progress?

I feel like I'm so stuck in this pattern. I think I may have reached a limit as far as progress is concerned with my life as it is now. I need to put myself in a new situation somehow. I need to remove myself from the old patterns that I have found myself in and find some room to grow. I just... Have no idea where to start.

So my New Year's Resolution this year is less about changing myself and more about putting myself out into the world more. I want to move out of my house and reach the independence that doing so will allow me. I want to pay off my car so that I can put even more money away for my future. I want to meet new people and forge new relationships. I feel like 2012 was all about changing the way I saw myself and the rest of the world. 2013 is going to be the next phase. I'll get there eventually, right?