Someone to Listen

If I were to say that I have a lot going on in my life in this moment and that a lot of things are changing for me... Well that might just be an understatement. Changing might not be the right word for it, though. It's more that my life is progressing. Every day I learn more and more about the person I ideally want to be, the person I am now, and the person I will eventually become.

My day today went something like this: I woke up early, I stayed in bed convincing myself that I could put off getting ready for another hour, I went to school where I discussed the very real possibilities for my future career, I came home to an empty house and made myself lunch, got ready for work, and then spent the next seven hours at Zupas, serving customers and training for my new position.

All in all, this day does not sound that much different from the days I had a year ago. If you look simply at the routine, it might be considered exactly the same as last year, the same as Boondocks. A day full of classes and work and coworkers. The reality of it all, though, is so different. I don't really know if I have really made my situation better for myself, or if I have really just changed myself and my perspective on life. Either way, I am really glad to be where I am right now.

Still, I came home from work tonight, my first official night training to be a shift lead at work, to find that every car was in the driveway. That alone was awesome because it meant that every person in my family was home. The idea is really exciting because my family does not get to spend much time together these days. We are all moving into our own lives and we have crazy schedules. So coming home to see that every car was in the driveway was good. Tuesday nights usually mean coming home and spending some time with my parents, talking to my sisters as they trickle home from work and other activities. Usually Tuesday nights are one of the best parts of my week. Tonight I came in to the house to find the everybody was home, but everyone was already in bed.

I am left feeling like so much has happened today and I just want to talk to someone about it. I mean, there is so much happening in my life. I have discovered what I want to do and I am talking to people about how to make that happen. Three years from now I could be mere weeks away from completing my masters degree. I could be nearly into a career doing counseling and I am so excited for that. Closer than that, though, is my promotion that I began training for tonight.

My boss showed me so many different things that I have to be able to remember tonight. I already feel like everything is just pouring out of my brain by the moment. I went into this really confidently. I thought my experience from the last seven months was enough to make this training really easy for me. There is just so much to remember, though. There are so many different buttons to push and things to count. I can handle the actual leading of the shift. I know how to work with employees. Working with money and orders and drawers is different, though. That has nothing to do with people. Nothing to do with the things that I am good at. I will understand it all eventually... But tonight... There was just so much to learn.

Tonight I just wanted to tell all of that to someone. I just wanted to share my excitement for my future and my anxieties about my job. I just wanted to tell someone about it.

So instead I am writing it on my blog. Because over the past five years, when there has not been anyone to listen to me when I wanted to talk this blog has been where I go.

Today was awesome. I am so excited for my future. I actually enjoy my job. I have some of the best friends on the planet and my relationships with my family have never been stronger. That's a lot, isn't it? Can you blame me for wanting someone to talk to about all of that?

I so love my life.

Falling into Place

Last November I was a very confused person. While I cannot really say that my first semester of college was unkind to me, it certainly was not easy. I did not know how to fit in to my new adult world and I really was not trying that hard to figure it out. I spent a lot of time focusing on everything that I did not like and blaming other people and things instead of trying to fix anything. I was unhappy. I did not really talk to anyone. I had no idea what I wanted in the future.

It is truly odd how much difference a year can make. I am suddenly watching all of the pieces of my life fall into place and I know what I want. I have a job that I am happy in and I am doing well in school. Next semester I will be applying  to the Social Work program at Weber State. Two years after that I will have finished my Bachelors degree. It will only take a year after that for me to become a Licensed Clinical Social Worker. I will move out at some point between now and then. I will get a job doing something that I love and my life will actually begin to take shape. 

I know for certain that the path I have recently started down is right for me. I find myself getting excited about being out on my own and in a career. I can see where my uncertainty in the past has slowed me down... And yet I am still where I need to be. 

At 5 this morning, I registered for classes for next semester. I am taking four classes. Two online and two at night in order to accommodate my crazy schedule at work (because I am being promoted to manager.) For the first time since 7th grade, I have to take an art class. It is the last of my gen ed requirements. I have purposefully put it off for the past year and a half. I also have to take Human Biology. That class is probably going to really be a struggle for me. Especially since I am taking it online. However, hopefully Kara will be able to help me out. It is a requirement for the Social Work program, so I will definitely need to do well. My other two classes are the first that I will take within the Social Work program. The first is a statistics class that I have absolutely no clue about. The second is a Human Behavior class that I am excited about because one of my favorite professors is teaching it. All in all, next semester really is going to be really great. 

It is all such a change from where I was at a year ago and I just really cannot wait to see what the future has in store for me.