I recently wrote about my latest great idea to transfer to UVU and move down to Provo in the fall... Well, I did also mention that my ideas hardly ever come to fruition, right? I dream big things all the time. I come to decisions and I try to make plans but something always keeps me in my comfort zone. People have seen that about me and I've tried to get myself out of it. I feel like there are some risks that I really just need to take... However, moving to Provo is not one that is going to happen anytime soon.
It's not because I don't have the resources for it. I've been saving money for a while and I make enough on average to be able to afford living on my own. I could do it. It would probably even be a great experience for me. I'm not even nervous about the idea. I was really, really excited about the idea of being out on my own...
With my latest considerations, though, UVU doesn't really work for me. The biggest problem is that I have been considering going into Social Work... A degree that UVU doesn't offer.
Weber does, though. Therein lies my dilemma. I really have not liked going to Weber this year. I am not enjoying my classes and I haven't really made any friends. The only thing I really managed to do was convince myself that I was not on the correct career path for me. In the past year, instead of moving forward as I always strive to do, I've moved ten paces back.
Will another year at Weber be the same then? Or will I manage to find something, somewhere that fits me? I'm nervous about spending even one more semester in stagnation. I need to find some kind of path so that I can gain momentum. I've considered transferring to the U... But it's so much more expensive. When I really have no idea what I'm going to be doing four years from now, it's probably smart for me to stay put at least until I'm really on track.
I don't like having to make this decision. I hate that I have once again started making all of these plans while people in the background were absolutely convinced that I wouldn't do it. I don't like going back on that decision now partially because I know those people will be thinking that they are right. They aren't, though.
I haven't decided not to move because I have it so much better at home. I know that I have it easier at home. Part of the reason I want to move is that it will force me out of my box and challenge me. That is not why I'm staying put. The truth is that if I want to continue to explore this latest possibility for myself, I need to be at a school that will allow that. I know it's the safer option. I know that people expected me to go back on this like I have on other things in the past.
The thing is, I want to go to UVU. I really wish that they had a bachelor program in Social Work. I think I would love the environment and I think it would be a great experience for me. I am really bummed that I have to go back on this decision that I had made and planned out. I don't want to stay at Weber. If the other option, though, is to spend more of my time doing absolutely nothing with no idea of where I'm going, then I'm going to have to reevaluate.
And that is my latest struggle.
