I Have Really Bad Luck

Cars are important. Without cars, many of us would not be able to get to work or school. We would not be able to visit family or friends. We would find it a lot more difficult to go to the store. For me, having a car has always been a huge part of my independence. I remember being in junior high and having to ask my mom for a ride home from my various activities every single day. Considering my mom was always around at the time, I didn't consider this a huge deal. In fact, I definitely took her for granted on that front. The second that the idea of me being able to drive became a reality, though, it became something that was absolutely necessary.

I have only actually had my license for a little under three years. My mom didn't want us starting to drive in the middle of the winter, so Carley and I didn't get our licenses until about six months after our sixteenth birthday (a number that seemed so much larger back then.) We each actually got cars a few months before we had our licenses, though. My parents bought three: a Toyota Camry for Carley, a Toyota Celica for me, and a Honda Civic for Emily. The thing about the Celica was that it was a project for Bill. It needed a LOT of work. In the mean time, since Emily wasn't going to have her license for over a year, I was to drive the Civic. It was a cute little car and I absolutely loved it. I made mix cds to listen to while I drove to school and to work. I showed it off to my friends. I came up with any excuse possible to go somewhere, anywhere, on my own.

All of this happened in a week.

Because exactly a week to the hour after I received my driver's license, this happened:

It was probably the scariest moment of my life and I've learned more from it than anything else that has ever happened to me. In fact, I learn more things about myself and about life from that accident all the time. Every time I remember what happened I realize something that I was blind to in the past. That's simply part of growing up, I'm sure, but it just proves that even the lowest moments in our lives can become events that we are at least slightly grateful for. I'm glad I had the chance to learn the things that being in a car accident and its aftermath taught me. I'm glad that I continue to learn from it. I'm glad that it will probably always still have things to teach me.

So that is what happened to my first car (even though it wasn't really mine.)

After that, I went about a year without having a vehicle. Since I had wrecked the Civic, the Celica would go to Emily and I would have to find a way to pay for my own insurance. I can't say that I was a very pleasant person to be around back then. I spent a lot of time complaining about how I wasn't doing anything with my life while doing absolutely nothing to fix that. Eventually my dad gave me this car that had been a part of the family for quite a long time (this is the only picture I have of it):

For a long time, all the van did was sit on the street outside of our house. I did manage to get hired by Boondocks eventually, though. Having money meant that I could finally afford insurance and gas and everything else that went with having my own transportation. The van was a great vehicle for me for about six months. Once winter hit, though, it proved to not be such a great car. It turned out that whenever it snowed, water or something would get up into the car and the belt would slip off, leaving me without power steering and overheating the engine. After one too many times of me ending up home in tears (I was incredibly lucky that I was on my way home and fairly close every time it happened), my parents decided that the van was not a safe car for me and we sold it. 

I didn't go nearly as long without a vehicle this time. About a month after we sold the van, Bill found the Maxima for me. It was a great little car that was fairly cheap compared to others that we had been looking at. It required a bit of work before I could register and drive it. I wasn't sure about it at first, but once I began driving it, I fell in love with that little car. In fact, I've practically lived out of that thing for the last year. 

I was driving home a couple of weeks ago, stopped at a stop sign and about to cross a busy intersection when there was a loud thunk. I tried to keep going regardless, but the maxima wouldn't move. It was like I had put the car in neutral. In the end, I had to call my grandma to pick me up and a guy helped me push the car into a parking lot while I waited for her. Bill took it in to see if there was any way it would be worth it to get it fixed, but I had already figured that I would need a new car. At least while I was in between vehicles this time I would still have a way to get around. I've been borrowing Bill's truck for a couple of weeks now.

This is where I interject with just how much I appreciate everything that my parents do for me. Every single time I have issues with a car, my mom and Bill jump in and help me out. I admit that I haven't always been as appreciative about it as I should be. Still, my parents continue to support me through every single vehicle problem I have (as well as every other challenge in my life.) They are awesome. In fact, they are buying this car for me and letting me make payments to them instead of getting a loan or waiting to save up money for it:

They say it looks like me and they think I will love it. I was a little nervous about it at first, but I trust my parents completely and told them that I would be comfortable with whatever car Bill thought would be best. Honestly, every day I think about it I get a little bit more excited. It's a cute car, is it not? And I have always wanted a jeep. Even if this isn't necessarily what I was thinking at the time. I just can't wait to have a car that is mine again.

Hopefully I'll have better luck with this one.

So This is What Happiness Feels Like

In the late summer of 2010, I was desperate to get a job. So desperate that in my flurry of applications and complaints about nothing happening, I ended up with two jobs. The first was just a summer gig; watching my cousin, Jack, who was three at time. My afternoons were spent watching Backyardigans and corralling my favorite little boy on the planet. Not long after I started that job, I was contacted about Boondocks. Before I knew what had happened, I had been hired. That was the beginning of journey.

For the rest of the summer, I was so busy training and working that I didn't babysit Jack as often. At first I was awkward and quiet around the kitchen. Now, just short of two years later, so much has changed. I am the one that is working in that having fun and goofing off when we're slow and I am the one that the newer people look to when we're busy. My confidence is not always strong, but I do feel a lot better about running that place than I ever would have that first summer. However, as things always seem to go in my life, just as I am getting really comfortable with my situation, things are moving again.

Looking back at this blog that I wrote in my first month at Boondocks, the words seem familiar. It's like a very good friend wrote them. I understand what they're saying and I remember being there. Still, I find myself laughing at everything I thought I knew back then versus everything that I know that I don't know now. The girl who wrote those words and the girl who is writing these right now are two very different people of similar backgrounds. Their values, their beliefs, their priorities... Everything is different. There is one difference that definitely stands out, though.

This girl. Right here, right now. She's happy.

It took today, my last leadership meeting at Boondocks, for me to realize just how... not me I've been for a long time. I was sitting at that table, looking around at the people who I've been working with for quite a while and saw what my mom has been telling me for months. Those people aren't good for me. No matter how much I have loved working at Boondocks at moments in the past, what I have ahead of me is so much better.

Last Tuesday, I received a call on my way to school. When I listened to the voice mail asking me to schedule an interview with Cafe Zupas I literally screamed. It's a good thing I was still in my car. I immediately called the guy back, but it wasn't until two days and five calls later that we actually managed to get in touch.

My interview was with the district manager. So far, he seems like an absolutely great guy whom I will love working with. We talked about everything from my goals in college and work to the differences between how Zupas and Boondocks run their kitchens. I expressed my love for cooking and my desire to work somewhere that will give me more guest interaction. It was the longest interview I have ever had.

At the end he set his pen down and said "I'm torn with you. Let me just tell you, I am going to hire you." I freaked at this point and I don't really remember what the specifics of the rest of our conversation were. He said that he didn't know whether he should hire me as a prep cook or a line server. He wanted my personality out front but I had expressed interest in cooking and the hours and pay were more what I was looking for.

After some discussion and negotiation we came to a compromise. I am officially a line server at Zupas and I cannot wait to begin working. The atmosphere there is going to be so much more positive and I am just so determined to make this the start of a happier and more productive me.

I will never forget the lessons that I learned while working for Boondocks. I have grown so much as a person since I started there and I have met quite a variety of people. Still, moving forward I am able to take all of those things that I learned and put them into action in a brand new environment.

Everything is looking up right now and I'm happier than I can remember being in a very long time. There are definitely good things coming up in my future.

<3