Depressing Thoughtfulness

Ok, so I know I already have enough words, and that I don't need to have another blog post for this week, let alone another one today, but I just went with my mom to pick up my 9 year old cousin because she's going camping with us this weekend, and on our way there we were talking. It gave me a lot to think about.

My cousin is only 9, and yet she has had to deal with more in her life than I might ever have to. When she was three years old she had some kind of brain tumor. I don't remember a whole lot about it, but I do remember that it hurt our entire family to see that precious little girl we all loved so much in so much pain. She survived it though, and for that alone she is my hero, but there are so many reasons why I look up to my adorable cousin. Her little sister is only three now herself, and we found out a little over six months ago that she has Lukemia. Since we found out about the cancer my 9 year old cousin, the Koala Bear as I call her, has been so neglected, and it makes me so sad. She puts up with so much, and yet she doesn't get enough love for all that she deals with. My mom and my sisters would let her live with us in a second, but her little sister needs her, and my Koala Bear needs her little sister as much as I need mine if not more.

It hurts me to hear what happens to her. The things she puts up with, and then to see her smiling face and hear her giggling as she comes to the door when we came to get her tonight... It makes me want to cry. I know I wouldn't be able to handle everything she does. That little girl is so amazing.

We were in the car tonight, the windows rolled down, our hair going all over the place, and then my mom told us to turn on our song. "This One's For the Girls" by Martina McBride. Oh my gosh, I think my heart broke when I heard her trying to sing that song. It was the first time she had ever heard it, and by the end of the song she said she remembered all of the words. My cousin Ella.

My hero.

God, I love that little girl.