The Platform Revisited

So, this is the beginning of one of my multiple summer writing projects. First, I'm going to revise the six train pieces that I have from school and rewrite the one that I could not find. Then I'm going to write new ones. Hopefully at least one a day, taking time to revise older ones as I go. Today I sat down and punched this out while looking at a copy of the original piece. I think the contrast between the two really shows you how I improved in my writing this year. I'm going to go work on revising the others now, as well. I'll probably put them up by tomorrow night.


     "The world moved on."*
     These quiet words snuck their way to the forefront of his mind from a book he remembered reading long ago. Back then, he was enchanted by the profound sound of such a simple phrase, but he had never really considered them any further than that.
      Now, as he stood at the edge of the platform waiting for his train, somewhere between his old life and his new beginning, he forced himself to examine the words he had once so ignorantly admired. His world had certainly moved on. Long gone were the day of naiive camaraderie and laughter. Somewhere between all of the words he had said and all those he had never had the courage to express, his world and the sepereate worlds of all those around him had moved on.
      Standing there, he supposed it must be time for him to move on as well. He could not just continue to live in this limbo between his past and his future, watching but not living as the world passed him by in a blur of activity.
      Forgive and forget, he thought as he watched all the other people in the station coming and going, never standing still. his past would always be a part of him, but maybe just this once he could move on without bringing all of his bitterness with him.
      The low rumble of an approaching train reached his ears and brought his attention to the dark tunnel as it began to slowly fill with blinding white light. He had no choice now, he thought as the train came to a complete stop in front of him and the doors slid open slowly. There was no way for him to deny that he really had to move on now.
      He took a deep breath as he settled in his seat and looked out the window on the platform. He felt the gears begin to grind together beneath him as the train began to move.
      Back on the platform, no one noticed the luggage that he had left behind. 










* Phrase comes from Stephen King's The Gunslinger.

The Platform

     "The world moved on."*
     The words came from a book he remembered reading long ago. Back then, he had thought it sounded cool but put no further thought to it than that.
     Now the words came to him from some dark and unused corner of his mind as he stood on the edge of the platform. His world had certainly moved on. Gone were the days of camaraderie and laughter. Somewhere between all of the words he had said and those he had always wanted, but never could actually say his world, and the separate worlds of all those around him, had moved on.
     He supposed that it must be time to move on as well. Forgive and forget was the phrase that came to his mind. Looking back, he knew that his past would always be a part of him, but maybe, just this once, he could move on without bringing the bitterness with him.
     Sounds of the approaching train reached his ears as he took a deep breath. It really was time to move on, he though, no denying it now.
     When the train came to a stop the man moved toward it, ready to board. He sat watching the platform as the train began to move. He never realized that he had left his luggage behind.


*Credit for this phrase actually goes to The Gunslinger by Stephen King.